


You're Toast

by whackass



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Dubious Consent, M/M, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-08
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2019-01-30 23:31:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12663681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whackass/pseuds/whackass
Summary: Lance finds himself in a predicament. Keith is oblivious.





	You're Toast

Yawning, Lance sat up from his bed, throwing his blankets off. He'd had a good night's sleep, and with a full day ahead of him, he jumped out of bed, ready to start it. With sleepy eyes, the blue-clad boy padded into the bathroom, hopping onto the counter without a thought. Reaching a slider over, he switched on the sink, and began washing his face.

When he realized, he didn't have a face. And the water was electrocuting him, causing a pain like no other. If you've ever herniated a disc in your lumbar region of your back and pinched a nerve, causing sciatic pain, then you know what Lance is feeling right now.

Screaming, Lance shut off the water and looked into a mirror.

Oh no.

He was...

_A toaster._

"OH MY GOD!" he tried to scream, but his voice was leaving him. It was being replaced with squeaks.

"My hot voice!" Lance squeaked, literally. "How am I gonna use my facial products now?!" The toaster was distressed. I mean Lance.

"I gotta hide!" Lance was already coming up with a plan, and without wasting time, he dashed out of the bathroom and hurried to the kitchen, where he plugged himself in on the counter and sat quietly, playing dead. 

 

Keith wiped the sweat from his forehead, a long morning of training finally finished. Entering the kitchen, Keith glanced around in search of food-he'll probably have to settle for Hunk's goo dinner from last night-before spotting a toaster on the counter. Brow raising a bit, Keith approached the toaster curiously and leaned over, raising a hand to tap at it.

 _Don't touch my face with your grimy, sweaty hands!_ Lance thought. He was a toaster, so he couldn't speak.

Keith hummed appreciatively. "Wonder who left a toaster here," he thought aloud. "And there's already bread inside. My morning's going well." Keith pressed the sliding button down to toast his newly-claimed bread, leaning his face in close to the machine. "You're my toast now," he murmured sensually, before turning to the refrigerator to find a suitable substitute for butter.

 _What a fucking whackjob!_ Lance thought again.  _Why can't I speak?!_

Keith returned a few seconds later with a container of goo, opening it up and taking out a butter knife. He was staring at the bread hungrily, his stomach audibly growling. He hasn't had bread in a long time. After a minute or two, the bread finally popped back up, nice and toasty. "I loaf you," he whispered, grabbing the toast from the toaster.

 _Hey! That's my hair!_ Lance thought yet again.  _Why can't I speak still?!_

Keith dropped the toast onto his plate, smothering the goo over it with his trusty butter knife.  _Why don't I start carrying these knives around too?_ Keith thought to himself quietly.  _Good idea, Keith._ Keith smiles.  _Thanks, Keith._

Already, he swooped up the newly-buttered toast and took a swift bite from it, like that potato chip scene in Death Note. Chewing, he made a pleasured sound. "This is delicious!" he exclaimed through the food in his mouth, spewing crumbs all over the toaster.

 _HEY!_ Lance's mind chimed in.  _That's fucking digusting!_

Keith continued chewing happily, and like the savage he is, chewed with his mouth open. Fucking savage.

Lance had had just about enough of this guy.

Without warning, the newly-turned toaster man pulled his own plug from the socket, and whipped Keith's cheek.

"Ow!" Keith said, more chewed bread spewing onto Lance's toaster body. "That hurt! Wait, you're a toaster. Why are you smacking me? Wait, toasters can't smack people!" Keith accused, throwing his uneaten slice of bread back at the toaster. Lance glared with his toaster buttons and smacked Keith once again.

Keith was now on he defensive. He pulled out his Galra knife in one hand, the other wielding the butter knife. "Most toasters aren't sentient!" Keith yelled at the toaster. Lance was pissed now. He slammed Keith's knives out of his hand with one whip of his 12 volt toaster cord and pounced the red-clad teen. He got all up in his face, screaming with all his toaster might, but no words would come out. Keith sensed the toaster was trying to speak, and suddenly felt bad for him. "Aw, toaster. It's okay. I know you're just trying to communicate with me," he said sadly.

Lance felt a little better now, and tried to express his concerns with his toaster sliders. Keith nodded in understanding. "I understand. You're trapped. You want out," Keith pointed out. The toaster nodded. Keith sighed sadly. This toaster doesn't get to experience the way of life. He doesn't get to have the same luxuries as Keith did. The toaster is living a sad, scared, lonely life. Keith can change that for him.

"I have an idea," he said, and picked up the toaster, taking him to his room.

Lance had no idea what to expect, but when Keith turned to lock his door, he raised a slider in confusion.

"Uhh, Keith, buddy?" Lance tried to say. Only squeaks came out as a result. Hey, at least he's starting to get his speech abilities back, he could sense it.

Keith turned to the toaster, and began undressing. Seemingly out of nowhere, jazzy music began playing as Keith stripped in front of the toaster on his mattress. Starting with his signature red jacket, Keith let all the garments covering his body fall to the floor, leaving him in only his Fruit of the Loom bikini-styled panties. Now both of Lance's sliders raised. Oh. Oh he understands where this is going.

"I'm going to teach you the best part of human life, so you can start living it too," Keith said, and climbed onto the bed. "Trust me on this." Keith pulled his panties down, guiding Lance beneath himself. Without warning, or lube, because that's not how we do it 'round these yaoi parts of town, Keith slammed his ass down onto Lance's sliders, and stuffed it in his asshole.

 _Those are my eyebrows, dude!_ Lance tried to scream. Only squeaks came out.

"Oh, you like that, don't you, Little Toaster?" Keith moaned, rutting his asshole down onto Lance's sliders harder. "I'm gonna make you crumb yourself," Keith promised.

Lance was shuddering. For some reason, his sliders being in Keith's asshole turned him on. It felt really good.

"Yes," Lance moaned out, "It feels so good Keith. Keith, yes, keep going, OH! OH!!!! OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT FEELS SO GOOD KEITH I'M GONNA CRUMB ANY MINUTE NOW!"

Keith could hear the toaster finally speak. It sounded like...

"Lance?" he screamed? "LANCE! OH LANCE! TOASTER LANCE! YOU FEEL SO GOOD! YES THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DREAMT SEX BETWEEN US WOULD BE!" Cum splattered from Keith's erect penis.

Lance crumbed inside of Keith. Crumbs spilled out by the thousands into Keith's willing asshole, stuffing him like Thanksgiving dinner.

Suddenly Lance transformed back into himself, his crumby dick shoved in Keith's asshole.

Keith turned around, shock filling his eyes. "Lance?" he whispered into the dim light of the room.

"Yeah, it's me, surprise," Lance deadpanned. "I can't believe you tried to fuck a toaster."

"I can't believe  _you_ were the toaster!"

"Yeah well! I didn't ask to be a toaster!"

"You were a hot toaster though."

"I know. I'm hot as anything."

The two teenage boys wordlessly turned to rest on their sides, Lance's dick still shoved deep into Keef.

 

 

The End.

 

P.S.

 

Shiro walked out into the kitchen. "Wonder who left a blender here," he thought aloud. "And there's already a smoothie inside. My morning's going well."

 

To Be Continued...

 

Maybe not but I liked inducing false hope...

**Author's Note:**

> wow my first posted work for voltron despite being in the fandom since day one, and its this
> 
> anyway next up is some shaladingdong content between shiro and allura because shiro and keith are both oblivious and shiro is gonna follow in keith's footsteps. but with a blender and allura. im sure you know how that'll end up


End file.
